Reagan Pyramid

You've gotta hand it to The Onion. In their latest issue they report on the near completion of the Reagan Pyramid in Simi Valley. According to reliable sources "builders expect the Reagan Pyramid to be ready in time for the Great Communicator's mummification and ascension into the Afterworld upon death. Among the items to be entombed with Reagan are 2,500 MX missiles, a golden chalice of jelly beans, and his beloved servant, George Bush Sr."